People tell me things and some of those things are so awesome that I have to share them.
One of my barbers, Tom1, asked me a question yesterday, as I was sitting in his chair. (My hair situation is another story that I will share directly.)
We were talking about his family. He had just returned to the barbershop from taking his twin girls – his only children – to school.
I knew about his daughters already. They are three years old and Tom is 63. We are good enough friends that I felt comfortable enough to ask if he was married to their mother. Yes, I had suspected that he had knocked up some young girl.
“Of course.”
I felt duly chastened about presumption, but there was no reproach in Tom’s voice when he said, “We have been married for 23 years.”
Oh wow!
I said, “So that means that you and your wife are close to the same age.”
“Clarice is seven years younger than I am.”
Tom paused briefly while continuing to cut my hair.
“Juliette, do you believe that God has stopped doing the miracles that He did in the Bible days?”
“No.”
From there, the next question followed.
“Okay. Do you believe that God is the same God He has always been? The same yesterday, today and forever?”
“Yes, I do.”
“Well good. So, I’m going to tell you a story.” He put down his clippers and sat.
Tom and Clarice are naturalized Americans from Nigeria. As is obvious from the information I provided, they spent most of their marriage childless, something that would not be a big deal among most natural-born Americans. But Clarice spent a lot of time among her fellow Nigerian immigrant women friends, and they looked down on her because she had not borne any children.
Tom says that it didn’t bother him personally, but both he and his wife were getting a lot of pressure to procreate from friends and, most especially, from their families in the Old Country.
And, of course, the fault was Clarice’s. Of course, she was defective. Of course.
Clarice spent a lot of time crying and depressed and Tom spent a lot of time beseeching the Lord for children and reassuring his wife that he loved her regardless.
And the pressure kept pouring on. Tom says that the chatter among Clarice’s friends stopped after a while, but the cutting eyes of pity and scorn remained.
The pressure on Tom existed as well. Tom expressed his faith that the Lord would come through for him and his wife to a female friend — a customer. Instead of agreeing with his prayer, the woman said:
“As long as you stay married to Clarice, you are saying that the Lord can’t come through.”
Tom continued to accept the woman as a customer but stopped talking about the matter with her.
His mother-in-law lamented that she would never live to see her daughter’s children.
Finally, the family pressure became too great. His family set up a ceremony in Nigeria where Tom would return, pick a second wife, and return with her to the USA. (Don’t ask me how that all works.)
Clarice gave her consent and Tom flew to Nigeria with the intent on doing what his family wanted.
He was presented with six young women to choose from; all beautiful and, presumably, fertile.
But Tom wasn’t interested. He couldn’t name it back then, but something in him was not having it. So, he returned to the USA alone.
When Clarice came to pick him up and saw that he was alone, she was confused.
“I didn’t want any of them,” he said. “I love you.”
Nine months later, their girls were born. Beautiful and healthy. And they were born on Tom’s 60th birthday.
And all the naysayers have had nothing to say since. Tom says that he has received no apologies, and that they don’t owe any to him or to Clarice, but to God.
Clarice has not had one day of crying or depression since she discovered she was pregnant. Honestly, neither of them has time for any of that!
But Tom says that every time he looks at his girls he knows there is a God and that He is good.
(Side blessing: because Tom and Clarice spent their early years childless, they put all their efforts into education, saving, and building, so that, by the time they became parents, they were more than financially ready for it.)
Tom has not heard from the “friend” who tried to sow chaos into his marriage ever since he told her that Clarice was pregnant, even though Clarice invited her to the baby shower and to the christening.
And, sadly, Clarice’s mother died before her granddaughters were born, making her own prophecy come true.
How about that?
All names are pseudonyms.
Just reread this. So true!
I know from chat you don't live near me but that would be awesome! I bet we could be great friends!
God IS good!
All the time!