Stream of Consciousness

Not my usual method of composition

Since September, I have found it nearly impossible to write about anything. There have been so many things happening, some of it good but most of it mind-blowing.

Obviously I’m happy that Donald Trump became president again but the more I watch things happen the more they are jumbled up in my brain. And I become anxious and it becomes a vicious circle: anxiety ruins my concentrate. (As for this post I am speaking it and not writing it.)

Most of you know that I’m not into current events unless there’s .. I want to say an angle, but it’s not an angle - the word makes it sound like a trick. I like to write things unusual thoughts and then express them.

There have been people in my life who point accusatory fingers at me for this way of thinking and which is insane. When I was a kid I was teased and bullied for being different and some of those people were not children. I’ve been bullied for it as an adult as well. They look like I am some odd creature, something that they don’t expect to see in this carcass and it’s not a racial thing because I get it from black people too.

What I really wanna talk about is how this country has been turned into an international sugar-daddy without the sugar. It’s just a fact and I think all honest observers knew it at some level but now we see it entirely exposed.

I’m trying to decide how I feel about it. Anger is an insufficient word.

Also there’s the deportation of illegal aliens.

There was a time when I was desperate for a job before my retirement kicked in. I applied all over the place, but no one would hire me even those who said that they were looking for veterans. Then when I started doing DoorDash, I could barely get any any deliveries. I suspected that there were many legal and illegal immigrants who flooding both zones but I couldn’t prove it.

And now Donald Trump has started actively deporting illegal aliens, Right now it’s just illegal alien criminals, but when you say you’re gonna deport illegal aliens, you start actually doing it all the non-criminal illegals leave, too. Now I look at my DoorDash app and it’s jobs all over the place.

A few years back I was going to do expose at a certain platform on how hard it is to get hired here in Los Angeles if you’re not Hispanic. After my first post on the topic, one of the platform moderators who is of Spanish descent (I don’t think he’s Mexican or from a central American country) shut me right down. I think that incident was probably the last time I posted at that platform.

(There were a lot of people I liked at that platform and I had a decent following. And if any of you are reading this, come on over! I miss you.)

But it wasn’t just those two things.

We see things, we feel them, become suspicious and draw conclusions. But when we have no evidence and we have no proof, we are called Conspiracy Theorists or are ignored.

Then, suddenly, all the hidden things are exposed. And of course, of course all the people who have been benefiting from USAID and NGOs and whatnot … offreakingcourse you expect them to not like not like what Donald Trump and Elon Musk are doing. (And I wanna say something about federal workers. I know there are a lot of federal workers who are losing their jobs. I feel sympathy for that because I know how hard it is to make all the money that you need to make in order to simply put gas in your vehicle.)

All these money is going towards people outside of our country for crazy things - illegal immoral things and swinging back around into Pelosi’s and McConnell’s portfolios and we felt it. They have been the side-chick beneficiaries of foreign aid for decades like I told you years ago.

They were the ones who are making barely over $150K coming into Congress and leaving there (usually in a box) pulling down hundred of billions. Right in front of our fucking faces. It was easy to figure out that there was some shady shit going on, but what?

We could see little tiny pieces of evidence like shards of glass cutting into our skin. And now it’s all over the place.

And now paid-for leftists are calling for the assassination of both Trump and Musk along with vandalizing Tesla dealerships and even individually owned Teslas. Dumb motherfuckers must like getting ripped off - assuming they every paid any taxes.

So this is where I am now. Beyond pissed but relieved a little to know that I wasn’t crazy to draw the conclusions that I did.

*****

I was able to send another $900 to my landlord. Thank you!

I would like to send him $500 today.