In Which I Scorch the Earth
Miss Nice Guy has left the building
The first part of this post has been published twice before and I have gone back and forth between anger and forgiveness about the situation.
Now? I’m at forgiveness salvation-wise and I’m not angry, but determined. I think I’ve given this person long enough to at least reach out and say, “I can’t fix it.” It needs to be fixed and if my action here can make it happen, it will help me. I no longer care about helping those who show me that they are my enemy. I’ll pray for their salvation, sure. But otherwise …
All I want is for this motherfucker to take his claws out of my finances and I’m done playing nice about it.
*****
November 2, 2015
I am a fool. Or maybe it’s just that I believe in helping a friend when he/she asks - just as many of you believe. When we do this, gratitude and communication are usually enough payback - unless specifics are promised. Then, if the unforeseen occurs and the payback can’t happen, talk to me and tell me what’s happening! Shit happens; that I know.
With one person, what happened to me is quite different; and I let it happen and didn’t want to talk about it because of embarrassment. Well, this morning [in 2015] I’m purple-faced with rage, and the rage has wiped the embarrassment clean away.
For me, it’s like this: you get chance, after chance, after chance for a long time. Then when I’m done taking your crap, it’s over. And I might kick you on the way out - especially if you have kicked me.
One person has kicked me.
I’ve told this story to several people. However, the reason I’m putting it out to the public was this morning’s incredible arrogance.
I had what I thought was a friend since 2009. He is a construction worker, and he did a lot of work on my old house. We also helped each other out when needed. We were nothing but friends. And he is a Christian - or so he said.
Back in 2012, when I bought a car - a 2007 PT Cruiser - for straight cash, this guy went with me to pick it out. When his truck was repossessed, I would let him borrow the car for work. Finally, when he and his roommate were about to be evicted from their apartment, he asked me to take a loan out on my car to help with a month’s rent. Foolishly, I did.
I had an inkling that I might lose my house, but I had taken comfort that, under those circumstances, I would have my car to get where I needed to go, and, if need be, to sleep in. More than once, I told this to my so-called friend before I took out the loan. He assured me that he would pay it back and he also admonished me for repeating my concerns.
He paid the loan back for several months (it wasn’t the only loan I made to him). Then, in June 2014 he disappeared, and I haven’t heard from him since then, though I’ve sent many emails to him. I lost my car the following month. [Ed. note 2022: the loss of my vehicle was indirectly responsible for me losing most of my material possessions which were in storage.]
Since the repossession of the car, I have corresponded three times with the roommate - a woman - which is how I know that the “friend” is not dead. For a year, I kept my mouth shut to her about the car, but I got tired of no one being considerate enough to merely communicate or pass along a message. (Dealing with long public transportation commutes has not helped my mood either.) So, I told her what happened. That was this year [2015], a few months back.
Then, this morning, after I emailed the roommate to ask if our mutual acquaintance was still alive, I received this:
Yes. He doesn’t want to hear from you anymore. Please don’t email me.
Thousands of dollars - and I still owe some money on the car. And these people know that I was in a homeless facility for months.
Worse than lack of communication is the incredible scumbaggery - psychopathology - displayed above. And then there’s the cowardice. The “man” can’t even tell me this himself.
Todd Leonard Adams, Sr., born 4/24/1963, you are a piece of shit -- a liar, a thief, and a coward. You don’t like what I say here? Sue me or have me killed. I don’t give a damn.
God will surely contact you. Enjoy.
*****
November 19, 2025
Previously, I deleted his name and birth-date in the name of forgiveness, but obviously, they have been added back. The photo is a new feature. I also have an address and a phone number, but I figured that holding back the most lethal weapons would be prudent. Also, most platforms frown on doxxing.
Why am I bring this up again? I found out two days ago that I’m still on the hook for my old PT Cruiser. It isn’t the brown one, it was this one.
I loved that car just like I loved the brown PT Cruiser. Those crappy little cars have a way of getting into your heart.
In recent years, I have the worst “luck” with meat-space friends who are men. They treat me as if I am less than human, as if I have no feelings. And I have tried to walk in forgiveness with all of them. Maybe if I had been giving them some punanny they would have treated me better. But that is the one bit of relief that I have: I let none of them into my body.
I thought I could be a friend to these men by helping financially, leading them to Christ, and/or exemplifying Christ within me. I was successful at being a friend but there’s one place where I erred:
44 No man can come to me, except the Father which hath sent me draw him: and I will raise him up at the last day.
- John 6:44 (KJV)
Todd was the worst one.
Yesterday, I sent this Facebook message to the roommate and, as with almost all of the other times, received no answer.
So, I looked for her on Instagram. Jackpot. I commented on one of her posts so she couldn’t ignore it.
She told me that they were “no longer together” which is interesting. When Todd and I were “friends” he pretended that they were just roommates but the pretense was silly. Anyone could see that there was something more there. I didn’t care but I guess Todd was still pretending to be a “good” Christian back then. I’m certain that he didn’t tell the woman how I tried to help both of them by keeping them from being evicted. He probably told her it was just a jealous woman situation.
No, baby girl, it’s much more serious than that.
In response to my Instagram comment, the woman said she was “moving on.” Well, bitch, I’d like to move on, too, with my money in my pocket. My credit report, however, has not moved on, thanks to your ex-boyfriend.
I won’t out the woman’s name, though – not unless she pisses me off again. Fun fact: she’s a Hollywood actress. Bit player.
5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
- Psalm 23:5
I am not the enemy of the three men who put me out of their lives, but they are mine and I know that this is why they are no longer in my life. (Strange thing: in just the last few days, I discovered that I had the tools to do harm to Todd and to one other; I’m going to have mercy on the other one. The third one? He recently received a hearty “fuck off, bitch” from me. He did the least damage.)
God continues to protect me even when I’m kicking and screaming because of that very protection. But I’m no longer resisting. And I look forward to the table He has prepared for me, and I have already prayed that they see me doing well and that they remember who I serve.
Maybe God still wants to draw them to Christ … but it’s not my business anymore.
By the way, this post will be on all my social media. Not the link; the full post.